All parents, guardians and carers sometimes argue with one another, but sometimes, conflict between parents or carers can increase to a level that is not healthy for the family. This can happen for lots of reasons. For example, the Covid-19 lockdown, where families share the same space under increased stress and uncertainty about the future, with reduced support from friends and extended families, may increase arguments.

Conflict can also occur when parents and carers are managing stress or worries about financial issues, issues of trust and fidelity, parenting practices, or where there is stress or trauma in the family. This includes when parents or carers have decided to separate. Stress does not just make conflict more likely, but it also makes us less able to manage conflict. When we are stressed, we are less able to think objectively and see things from another person’s point of view, and more likely to react in automatic, poorly thought through ways.

Think how might your child have been exposed to parental conflict? This goes beyond arguing in front of your child, it can be much subtler than that. It can be painful to think about these things, so use your network for support, but it is really important to consider how your child may be harmed by conflict.

Anna Freud encourage parents, guardians and carers to adopt a shared mantra: ‘No matter what the conflict is between the parents, we must work together to protect the child from that conflict and maintain their relationship with both parents.’

Document Downloads:

'Impact of parental conflict on children' Transcript

Anna Freud National Care for Children and Families Poster

Positive Parenting - English 

Positive Parenting - Arabic

Positive Parenting - French

Positive Parenting - Welsh

 

For many parents, guardians and carers, finding time for yourself can be a challenge as you juggle family and relationships with your home and work life.  This can be especially true if you are supporting a child or young person with their mental health.

With the practicalities of day-to-day life, it can be easy to forget to look after your own wellbeing needs, as well as those of your children, which can lead to feelings of stress or being overwhelmed.  Factoring in regular time or activities for yourself will hopefully allow you to enjoy the good moments in life more and to find strength during difficult times.

Self-Care for Parents and Carers | Why consider self care? | Anna Freud Centre

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Respect Yourself

Whilst self-care is important, it is important to recognise that if you are struggling as a parent or carer with your mental health and wellbeing that you know that there is help and support out there for you.  Your GP should be able to offer help and support and, if necessary, refer you to an adult mental health service.  Where possible, try to talk to a trusted friend or relative so they are also aware of how you’re feeling and can check in on you. The below organisations also offer crisis support for parents and carers:

AFC Crisis Messenger – Text AFC to 85258 for free 24/7 crisis support

Family Lives – Charity offering crisis support for parents, guardians and carers

Parenting and Family Support - Family Lives (Parentline Plus)

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Supporting Young People Online

Chatterbox Card Game

LGBTQI Flyer

Catch It, Check It, Change It

What You Need to Know about Social Media and Mental Health

Reminders Of How to Be Kind Online

Children, young people and their families can get free help, advice and urgent mental health support from 24/7 crisis telephone lines available in every London borough.

Every NHS mental health trust in London has put these in place, so children, young people and their families can get help quickly when they need it. Professionals are also able to access these crisis lines if they are concerned about or would like advice about a child, young person or family. The crisis lines are supported by trained mental health practitioners, who can offer advice and signpost other sources of support as needed.

Please click on the download below for a brief information pack with details of these crisis lines as well as other support available (e.g. Shout, Good Thinking and Kooth).

Document Downloads: 

Urgent Mental Health Support - 24/7 crisis lines

 

 

Grief After Bereavement or Loss

Most people experience grief when they lose something or someone important to them. If these feelings are affecting your life, there are things you can try that may help.

Support is also available if you're finding it hard to cope with stress, anxiety or depression.

Bereavement, grief and loss can cause many different symptoms and they affect people in different ways. There's no right or wrong way to feel.

As well as bereavement, there are other types of loss such as the end of a relationship or losing a job or home.

Some of the most common symptoms include:

• Shock and numbness- This is usually the first reaction to loss, and people often talk about "being in a daze"
• Overwhelming sadness, with lots of crying
• Tiredness or exhaustion
• Anger – towards the person you've lost or the reason for your loss
• Guilt – for example, guilt about feeling angry, about something you said or did not say, or not being able to stop your loved one dying

These feelings may not be there all the time and powerful feelings may appear unexpectedly.

It's not always easy to recognise when bereavement, grief or loss are the reason you're acting or feeling differently.

Get help with grief after bereavement or loss - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

Here are some additional useful websites:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you would like to discuss any concerns or worries, or feel you would like further support and guidance, please contact Debbie Smith and she will assist you with information and the next steps.

Director of Little Marvels Nursery Services: Debbie Smith 
Email: dsmith@trhat.org
Contact Number: 07508429009